Racismist

I was playing poker last night and I said something racist. I was making a joke and I knew it was racist, but I thought it was also funny.

I said, "we don't actually practice counting in math class," and Carly quipped, "they don't teach you practical application?"

I said, "the teach practical application. We come up with the plan of how to count. We don't actually do the counting though, the Mexican's do that."

Obviously very racist. But also I'm making fun of myself for my role in society. I'm claiming that I couldn't count. I digress.

No one would talk to me after that, so I accused them of being racismist. They were being mean to me because I was racist. I'm not sure that's any better.

I guess maybe they're not comfortable with their own racism or something. I feel hurt the most because I didn't mean to hurt anyone, and I think I did. Even if their pain was something as strange as, "it hurts to hear Michael be racist."

Well, that sounds unlikely. I sense it is more likely they were scared of being bad. Since racism is bad, they were afraid of collaborating in it with me. In that case I feel kind of sad.

I make fun of every race. Especially European American's. Big, fat, lazy, stupid, enslaved by their greed, Whiteys. I'm one of them. My Chinese friends are much better at arithmetic than I am, and I'm a math major. America is the fattest country in the world.

I guess I should just go back to my hole. Because I'm not socially acceptable. But really I love people. So it makes me sad that people don't understand that. Maybe I need to say it more. Start with love. Insert comment/criticism. End with love. Much more socially acceptable. I'll try that next time I guess.